Changes

I cant believe how much my life has changed in the past 4 months. I thought I had a plan. Ben and I were going to transfer. We were going to take summer classes here and then transfer to Gulf Coast. This summer I was going to live in New Jersey with Ben and work at a summer camp. Our summer would be spent together, partying, drinking, doing drugs, and being recklessly, carelessly, hopelessly, young and in love. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I will not spend my summer being carefree. I will not ever just do things for myself ever again. My summer will be spent growing up...and I mean really growing up. However, Ben and I will still be together. It will just be different. 4 months ago we found out that I was pregnant...and it changed everything. I realized that not only was I in love with Ben, but that I wanted all of it. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We decided to keep the baby. Things have been crazy ever since. Instead of planning our weekends partying we are planning on bringing a baby into this world. We will spend our summers working. Working and applying for health insurance, life insurance, going to school part time. I used to think that I would never be this girl. But I fell in love hard. I am now being forced to grow up. I have to do adult things. I have to worry about paying rent, putting food on the table, school, day cares, my health, bens health, our babys health. Its quite overwhelming. But here I am four months into this and I couldnt be happier. I know that everything happens for a reason. I love Ben. I want to be with him. And we will be together. We are just doing things a little differently than most. I can honestly say that even though I have never been this stresses, I have also never felt this happy. I have a purpose in life. Our baby is due October 27th and I cannot wait to see what our lives together will bring us. I am embracing the change.