Changes

I cant believe how much my life has changed in the past 4 months. I thought I had a plan. Ben and I were going to transfer. We were going to take summer classes here and then transfer to Gulf Coast. This summer I was going to live in New Jersey with Ben and work at a summer camp. Our summer would be spent together, partying, drinking, doing drugs, and being recklessly, carelessly, hopelessly, young and in love. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I will not spend my summer being carefree. I will not ever just do things for myself ever again. My summer will be spent growing up...and I mean really growing up. However, Ben and I will still be together. It will just be different. 4 months ago we found out that I was pregnant...and it changed everything. I realized that not only was I in love with Ben, but that I wanted all of it. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We decided to keep the baby. Things have been crazy ever since. Instead of planning our weekends partying we are planning on bringing a baby into this world. We will spend our summers working. Working and applying for health insurance, life insurance, going to school part time. I used to think that I would never be this girl. But I fell in love hard. I am now being forced to grow up. I have to do adult things. I have to worry about paying rent, putting food on the table, school, day cares, my health, bens health, our babys health. Its quite overwhelming. But here I am four months into this and I couldnt be happier. I know that everything happens for a reason. I love Ben. I want to be with him. And we will be together. We are just doing things a little differently than most. I can honestly say that even though I have never been this stresses, I have also never felt this happy. I have a purpose in life. Our baby is due October 27th and I cannot wait to see what our lives together will bring us. I am embracing the change.

hello blogging world

Holyyy shitttt its been forever. About 3 1/2 months, in fact. Wow. My life seems to have changed a lot. I still have the best boyfriend in the world, Ben. It amazes me that I feel this good with someone. Its a new feeling, being in love and I would not trade it for the world. Im back at Flalger College and Im not too sure if this is where I want to stay. Ben and I are talking about transfering. Maybe to UCf or Gulf Coast or up north to Rutgers or NYU. If we can live off campus next semester we will stay. I've grown up a lot these past four months. I have learned that things change and people change. It's life and you just have to go with the flow. Its good to be back blogging. Night all!!

blogging with a purpose...

So it turns out I have to blog for my computer class. I can keep this one I just have to start blogging with purpose. Soooo I need a purpose. Any ideas? Hmmm. Im going to have to get back to this cause I cannot think about much right now. Its Halloween!! Im so excited to get dressed up and go out. Im being a flapper and Ben is being my gangster. Its pretty sweet. Im excited to go party and see everyone else dressed up. I wish I had brought The Nightmare Before Christmas with me. I feel like watching it later tonight. Hmpht. Oh well. Im sure I'll be busy enough. This is the first year Im not going trick or treating =[. Its a weird feeling. But Im going out to dinner with Ben and his parents instead so its a fair trade off. We get to leave class whenever we want today. So im going to shower and get ready for my night. Happy Halloween.

and its brighter than sunshine

So its been a little bit but i've been quite busy lately. My weekend back home was a ton of fun. I just got to relax with the fam and Ben =]. Good times were had by all. Except I want to kill this crazy girl named Kara. If she makes my sister cry one more time I really will. Anyways Im really tired because Ive been having late nights with that boy Ben, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I haven't been this happy in awhile and I love it. We're pretty much the hottest couple ever, seeing as everyone has to make some sort of comment about us where ever we go. So its okay to be jealous, I would be. Tomorrow Meg and I are going to Halloween Horror Nights! Ecckkk Im scared!! But we payed ten dollars so we are doing it!! And then it will be Friday again. Woots!! And I can't wait cause that means I don't have to sleep alone all weekend. =D tehehe. Its nap time.

Full Moon

The moon was really pretty tonight. It was full and extremely bright. I could not stop looking at it. Its 3 am and in 12 hours we will be going to the Underoath concert!! Its going to be soooooo good. This week is flying by. I cannot wait to go home for the weekend. I need a breather and Ben is coming along with me =]. Its going to be nice to be able to just chill with my family and not worry about everything that has been going on. The week was a little hectic and I got stressed over little things but now everything is blowing over. Thank God. I wrote this poem the other day. Its called Forever:

Forever your eyes will hold the memory
I saw your heart as it overtook me
We tried so hard to understand and reason
But in the one moment I gave my heart away
The perfect breath where my mind lay beside me
And all I knew is what had overtaken me
With no explanation
I am comforted by my inability to understand
When I awake from this dream
Will you still be here?
Will your smile still open my heart
And leave me transparent?

Night loves.

Accomplished!!

Im done writing my compare and contrast essay for english and feel so much better. I love feeling accomplished. =] Only one more class today and then Im done. Tomorrow is the Underoath concert with the family!! And im really looking forward (foward right Ben and Adam? haha) to it. I have seen them in concert before and they put on a great show!! Woots. Its going to be so good. And the fact that I'll be with my favorite people in the world helps too. I wish Crystal was going =[.

Here I am...

So all of my friends started blogging and here I am with one. Its really late though so Im going to bed. More to come later though so don't worry.